Trying to Find the Silver Lining

Maybe its the rain.  Or maybe its the double standard.  Either way, today I'm having trouble finding the positive in my world.

I woke to a text message from X stating he fell at work and hurt his back and therefore doesn't want to pick up B from daycare as planned.  Before you think "what a bitch" for grumbling about this please note that I pulled a muscle in my back on New Year's Eve and have been in pain ever since.  It's very difficult to heal a sore back with a toddler that still likes to be carried. 

While I would normally let the boy have a tantrum this week it's been raining and I'd rather not have my child rolling around on the cold wet ground even if it means furthering my pain.

Now don't get me wrong, I feel for X.  I do hope his back gets better quickly.  I just wish that I had someone to take B when I was hurting in order to shorten the time it takes for me to heal.

Yes I chose this life.  I chose to leave X and be a single parent.  Despite the physical pain I feel today it was still the best decision for both B and myself.  All the struggles, all the pain are worth the increased overall happiness.  Life isn't perfect.  It never will be.  But sometimes it's just too much for me to find the silver lining.

Hopefully my mood is just from the rain.  Hopefully the sun will come out today.  It's Thursday and for some crazy reason the sun usually comes out on Thursday afternoons right about the time my boss tees up for a round of golf.

Help from Afar Thanks to Twitter

The other night I was out for coffee with a friend, whom I met from Twitter.  We were discussing the marvels of Twitter and I shared a story which he encouraged me to write and share with all of you.  So here it goes...

As mentioned before I am a single mom.  What I have not necessarily mentioned are the various issues my little guy has faced in his two years of life.  Not only did he have colic but he also had infant reflux and night terrors.

Even before I left my marriage I was often left home alone at nights because B's dad has always worked nights.  This meant that when night terror episodes occurred I was pretty much on my own.

For those that don't know about sleep terrors - it is a condition in which transitioning from one level of sleep into a deeper sleep is difficult.  This causes one to scream as if trapped in a nightmare and unable to wake up.  Much like sleep walking there is not much that can be done.

After nearly six months of sleep terror free nights B had a relapse.  Here's where Twitter saved the day.  I tweeted a cry for help and put a hashtag to help spread the word in twitterverse beyond my regular followers.  Less than 24 hours later Sue Atkins (@SueAtkins) of Positive-Parents.com responded.  She sent me a link to an article she wrote about sleep terrors and said if I needed further help to let her know.

Sue Atkins is "passionate about making life with children easier and more rewarding, and am extremely enthusiastic about helping to bring up happy, confident, well-balanced adults; today's children - tomorrow's future".  Her credentials include regular radio spots with the BBC.  Yes  Sue Atkins is in the UK.  I'm in Canada.  We could only have connected so quickly through Twitter.  She had a breathing technique that I had never heard of before despite my diligent research into the condition.  The next episode I tried it.  It worked.  Simply hugging my little guy and breathing calmly and deeply he was able to slip into a deeper sleep and stop screaming.

If I ever make it over to the UK I hope to have a tweetup with Sue Atkins.  Just one tweet impacted my life, my ability to cope and parent profoundly.