The long awaited for...DAYCARE!

For the last eight months I have been longing for this day.  Some mothers dread this day but my circumstances are different.  

I went back to work when B was 6 months old.  While I was at work B's father looked after him.  This of course is where my fear began.  Some pretty awful things happened while B was in the care of his father.  Drank a bottle of infant Tylenol.  Third degree burns on his hands.  Hit in the head on a few occasions.

But beyond the safety issues X and I have different approaches to parenting.  Partly stemming from our different personalities and comfort zones.  I like taking B to playgroups, kindergym, etc. Get the boy interacting with other kids while running a muck and tiring himself out.  The bonus for me is that I can chat with some of the moms about mommy things while the kids have fun.  Aside: Fernwood playgroup was best because they served coffee.  X however is not as outgoing as me.  Not comfortable around a lot of people.  Playgroups almost seem to scare him, although he does take B to certain ones.

My excitement that B will regularly be interacting with the same kids, building friendships and learning new skills is heightened by the incredible daycare that he is going to and the fact that it's packed with neighbourhood kids.  What more could a mother ask for?  Truly, I was blown away by the set up of the daycare and the type of activities that the kids go to.  B will thoroughly enjoy this.

Although I had no doubts that B would embrace daycare, he proved it at the "Hello/Goodbye" BBQ last week.  This is an annual event put on by the daycare for the parents to meet the new kids coming in and their parents and say good-bye to the kids moving on.  B instantly made a new friend on the playground by climbing up a curved ladder (a task that scared me) which caused the other boy to climb up the ladder too.  As the parents stood on the sideline poised ready to assist if needed we discovered we live around the corner from each other.

All in all, today is a day I can breathe a little sigh of relief and look on with great anticipation as to what this new adventure will bring for B.  Next milestone  - moving from the church nursery to Sunday School.  God bless the teachers at GT!

The truth hurts, but will set you free.

I had the unfortunate experience this weekend of realizing someone I thought was a friend truly wasn't.  It all started with not being invited to a birthday party.  Seems pretty trivial.  But it wasn't the exclusion.  What hurt was the misunderstanding.

When I questioned whether there was anything happening for the child's birthday I was led to believe that it was a family only event.  Fair enough.  But then right after my conversation and right in front of me, she confirmed the intended attendance of another parent to her son's birthday.  Weird.  Then later that same morning another comment was made that confirmed that I was in fact not invited to her son's birthday party.

I tried to let it go.  I tried to pawn it off to 'we've grown apart'.  But I could not help being annoyed by the fact that I was lied to.  So I messaged her about how I felt.

What I thought had been "growing apart" had actually been her purposely distancing herself from me because of my negativity.  Something that she points out started after my separation from X.  You think?

I can't and won't apologize for being negative over the last nine months.  I left an abusive relationship; endured a disappointing child abuse investigation; continue to fear for the safety of my child while in the care of his father; am barely making ends meet and unable to find a better paying job in this town.

The decisions that I have had to make over the past year are ones that I honestly would not wish upon anyone.  Unfortunately, many women do face these decisions daily.  And what's even sadder is women everywhere make even harder decisions.

Yes it hurt that this person, who I thought was a friend, ended up not being a friend but it is freeing to know that I no longer need to spend time and energy trying to keep in touch with her.  I am relieved to know that while we had good times together, those good times are over.

I have met a number of people lately that appreciate the tough times I'm going through.  It is the tough times that truly define us and the relationships with those around us.  True friends are hard to find but I'm confident there are more people out there who will become a true friend to my family.