I had the unfortunate experience this weekend of realizing someone I thought was a friend truly wasn't. It all started with not being invited to a birthday party. Seems pretty trivial. But it wasn't the exclusion. What hurt was the misunderstanding.
When I questioned whether there was anything happening for the child's birthday I was led to believe that it was a family only event. Fair enough. But then right after my conversation and right in front of me, she confirmed the intended attendance of another parent to her son's birthday. Weird. Then later that same morning another comment was made that confirmed that I was in fact not invited to her son's birthday party.
I tried to let it go. I tried to pawn it off to 'we've grown apart'. But I could not help being annoyed by the fact that I was lied to. So I messaged her about how I felt.
What I thought had been "growing apart" had actually been her purposely distancing herself from me because of my negativity. Something that she points out started after my separation from X. You think?
I can't and won't apologize for being negative over the last nine months. I left an abusive relationship; endured a disappointing child abuse investigation; continue to fear for the safety of my child while in the care of his father; am barely making ends meet and unable to find a better paying job in this town.
The decisions that I have had to make over the past year are ones that I honestly would not wish upon anyone. Unfortunately, many women do face these decisions daily. And what's even sadder is women everywhere make even harder decisions.
Yes it hurt that this person, who I thought was a friend, ended up not being a friend but it is freeing to know that I no longer need to spend time and energy trying to keep in touch with her. I am relieved to know that while we had good times together, those good times are over.
I have met a number of people lately that appreciate the tough times I'm going through. It is the tough times that truly define us and the relationships with those around us. True friends are hard to find but I'm confident there are more people out there who will become a true friend to my family.
That does suck. It's true, you really find out who your real & true friends are. We have enough shit to deal with, we don't need people that are not here for us. And what I always say is that it's quality, not quantity.
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