Trying to Find the Silver Lining

Maybe its the rain.  Or maybe its the double standard.  Either way, today I'm having trouble finding the positive in my world.

I woke to a text message from X stating he fell at work and hurt his back and therefore doesn't want to pick up B from daycare as planned.  Before you think "what a bitch" for grumbling about this please note that I pulled a muscle in my back on New Year's Eve and have been in pain ever since.  It's very difficult to heal a sore back with a toddler that still likes to be carried. 

While I would normally let the boy have a tantrum this week it's been raining and I'd rather not have my child rolling around on the cold wet ground even if it means furthering my pain.

Now don't get me wrong, I feel for X.  I do hope his back gets better quickly.  I just wish that I had someone to take B when I was hurting in order to shorten the time it takes for me to heal.

Yes I chose this life.  I chose to leave X and be a single parent.  Despite the physical pain I feel today it was still the best decision for both B and myself.  All the struggles, all the pain are worth the increased overall happiness.  Life isn't perfect.  It never will be.  But sometimes it's just too much for me to find the silver lining.

Hopefully my mood is just from the rain.  Hopefully the sun will come out today.  It's Thursday and for some crazy reason the sun usually comes out on Thursday afternoons right about the time my boss tees up for a round of golf.